Reflections on Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying can take many forms but ultimately aims to hurt, humiliate, threaten, or damage a person’s reputation and we must do everything we can to combat it in our society. I have read and heard about many heartbreaking stories of cyberbullying throughout my life, but it always hits closest to home when I hear about it happening to my own students. Middle schoolers are already at a vulnerable period in life where they are trying to figure who they really are, wanting to fit it but be uniquely themselves. Throw in the added pressures that come with 24 hour access to technology and we open a world that can be even more confusing and debilitating if we do not actively teach our students how to effectively navigate and cope with the online world. It would be amazing if everyone grew up overflowing with the self-confidence to brush off online attacks, but unfortunately, that’s not the case. So many young people battle mental health issues stemming from pressures to live up to unrealistic expectations forged online or from encountering negative interactions that humiliate and shame them for either being themselves or completely fabricated stories about them. Online bullying is further complicated because it cannot be easily escaped. It follows you everywhere, all day without respite or relief. If young people are not adequately prepared to face these challenges and lack support systems, they can succumb to depression or even suicidal thoughts.
We have to do better as a society to combat this craziness by teaching and modeling empathetic and compassionate practices. It starts with me. This week has really made me reflect on my online behaviors. How often have I liked or shared a funny meme without thinking about the person at the butt of that joke? How often have I made a flippant judgement of something I see without knowing anything about the person or people involved simply because it is different than how I live or a decision I would make? Am I modeling for my own children empathy and compassion or do I inadvertently send a different message that promotes shame and humiliation? These are hard questions to ask myself and I want to believe that I am more empathetic than flippant, but am I always making the best choice in the wide variety of situations I encounter daily in my online activities? Am I an upstander or a bystander? Because who I am is reflected in every interaction. Who I am will transmit to my kids. Who I am will transmit to my students in my classroom. Valuing empathy is a heart choice that I must make every day. Beyond my actions, I have to openly discuss appropriate online interactions and behaviors as well as the dangers and damage of cyberbullying. I have an obligation to build relationships that create a safe place for my kids and my students to share and reflect on their experiences. An environment that encourages and supports them as they learn how to be upstanders and be compassionate, empathetic global citizens.
Beyond me, it takes our entire community to create a cultural shift that embraces empathy and shuns shame and humiliation. We have to empower students and families to celebrate our diversity, how to disagree respectfully, and how to engage in a diverse world that we might only engage with through screens. We have to send a message to social media and money makers that they will not thrive or make money on the backs of others’ humiliation, pain, and suffering. That means we have to watch what we click, what we share, how and why we comment. Our kids need exposure to different cultures and backgrounds to make connections that carry into the online world. Technology is not the enemy. Our indifference and disconnect are the enemies. We cannot hide behind the anonymity afforded by screens. Freedom of speech is not freedom of consequence. United in empathy we can change hearts and shift our culture.
Cyberbullying is crazy with its reach and longevity, but it is our creation from a culture that has celebrated shame and humiliation for too long. We can change course. We can shift our culture. We have to invest in each other, build relationships, connect with diverse people, and remember that the people in our lives are the people that exist on the other end of our comments, our likes, our shares. We cannot allow any form of bullying to be an acceptable part of society and growing up. We are better than that. It’s time to do something about it.
We have to do better as a society to combat this craziness by teaching and modeling empathetic and compassionate practices. It starts with me. This week has really made me reflect on my online behaviors. How often have I liked or shared a funny meme without thinking about the person at the butt of that joke? How often have I made a flippant judgement of something I see without knowing anything about the person or people involved simply because it is different than how I live or a decision I would make? Am I modeling for my own children empathy and compassion or do I inadvertently send a different message that promotes shame and humiliation? These are hard questions to ask myself and I want to believe that I am more empathetic than flippant, but am I always making the best choice in the wide variety of situations I encounter daily in my online activities? Am I an upstander or a bystander? Because who I am is reflected in every interaction. Who I am will transmit to my kids. Who I am will transmit to my students in my classroom. Valuing empathy is a heart choice that I must make every day. Beyond my actions, I have to openly discuss appropriate online interactions and behaviors as well as the dangers and damage of cyberbullying. I have an obligation to build relationships that create a safe place for my kids and my students to share and reflect on their experiences. An environment that encourages and supports them as they learn how to be upstanders and be compassionate, empathetic global citizens.
Beyond me, it takes our entire community to create a cultural shift that embraces empathy and shuns shame and humiliation. We have to empower students and families to celebrate our diversity, how to disagree respectfully, and how to engage in a diverse world that we might only engage with through screens. We have to send a message to social media and money makers that they will not thrive or make money on the backs of others’ humiliation, pain, and suffering. That means we have to watch what we click, what we share, how and why we comment. Our kids need exposure to different cultures and backgrounds to make connections that carry into the online world. Technology is not the enemy. Our indifference and disconnect are the enemies. We cannot hide behind the anonymity afforded by screens. Freedom of speech is not freedom of consequence. United in empathy we can change hearts and shift our culture.
Cyberbullying is crazy with its reach and longevity, but it is our creation from a culture that has celebrated shame and humiliation for too long. We can change course. We can shift our culture. We have to invest in each other, build relationships, connect with diverse people, and remember that the people in our lives are the people that exist on the other end of our comments, our likes, our shares. We cannot allow any form of bullying to be an acceptable part of society and growing up. We are better than that. It’s time to do something about it.